It was a very sad moment last January 1, 2012, when I had to go back here in Abu Dhabi. Me and my husband spent our Christmas and New Year in the Philippines. It's been a year now since I last kissed and hugged my two daughters but the feeling of bidding farewell is still here with me.I can still remember when it’s time to say goodbye, my eldest gave me a drawing of our family,which you can see in the video and a small puppy stuff toy named Cuttie.
“Mamiy, here is Cuttie, she will be with you in Abu Dhabi.”
I already had teary eyes.
“Thank you Baby. I promise, Mamiy will be back on your graduation. Three months only and we will be together again. We will play again.”
And she gave me a smile, but I can see, it was a smile with a lonely emotion deep inside her.
She was graduating from Kindergarten in March. I wanted to be with her during that special day. I know for some, this is not so important. But for me, I see this as her first big accomplishment. It was a significant stage of her life that I had to be with her.
I kissed my daughters and hugged them tight. Then I walked away. I heard their cry as we left the house, and it really torn my heart.
Due to career growth and word of honor, I had to change my job last February. But I told my Boss, that I will be going home in March for my daughter’s graduation. That is my condition before transferring to his company. He agreed. On the same day I signed the contract, my husband lost his job. I only received small amount of “Indemnity” from my previous job. Financial crisis struck us. March came, and I wanted to go home to the Philippines as promised to my little girl, but I had no money. I was broke. My credit card was already maxed out. I could not buy my air ticket. I even owed my Boss AED500 and I could not ask for more.
I had to tell my daughter that Mamiy is breaking her promise, that Mamiy cannot attend her graduation.
It really breaks a mother’s heart to disappoint her loving daughter.
A week before her graduation, even though I told her that I will not be coming home, she was still asking...
“Is Mamiy coming home already? Are you going to pick her up now?” and glanced at the door.
Even a day before her graduation, she was still hoping I will be with her….
We can never return back time. I missed this stage of her life and never can I rewind it to play again and be with her on their Kindergarten Graduation. I would love to be with her on stage, seeing her wearing toga, watching her sing their graduation song. I would have kissed and hugged her that day.
It would be of great joy for a mother seeing her daughter so happy and proud of herself for her achievement. I missed that.
Again, I’m going to miss her 7th Birthday this coming January because of job responsibilities, I cannot go home...
Unwise time investment indeed…..
I hope someday, when she reads this and watch the video from youtube, she will know how much I longed to be with her during those days she wanted me to be beside her….
For my fellow expats, OFW’s, working parents….type your comments below and express how much you love your kids and how much you long to be with them every single moment of the day…
Please also watch this video dedicated to my daughters.... You will see here my daughter's drawing, related to the word FAMILY.